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Old 05-15-2008, 12:28 AM
lisafwg lisafwg is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 4
Default first sentence

You need to change this:
"We are a web based company that markets the opportunity of making money at home we have a business opportunity with low cost start up fees."

This is a run on sentence. Make it 2 sentences.

You should consider more content.

Good luck



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