Will make you smile 2

[Collectors-info]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait til we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You're going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold? "
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[darklight]

Re: Will make you smile 2

Hahahaha Sweet! I love the first one lol. Actually.. I think Im going to do something in photoshop with that as the caption!
Wicked one!
Teri

[Dream Lady]

Re: Will make you smile 2

Good Ones, Chris! Love them all (and can relate)

[Lincslady]

Re: Will make you smile 2

lol...I can relate to some of them ...my mother had a way of getting things wrong ...she used to to say ...DONT EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!.....errrr lol

[Dori]

Re: Will make you smile 2

Gotta laugh at this one Chris! My mother said many of those things and more. I swore I would never, ever say that stuff to my kid.... but alas I did. He grew up as twisted as me!

[Astraltraveller]

Re: Will make you smile 2

Is'nt that what some of mothers really say?......lol
They are great Chris.......lmao

[LadyEye]

Re: Will make you smile 2

These are the "Home Runs" to me ... lol

4. My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."

Typical response I always hated and vowed I'd never do that to my son, and I didn't, and he is a very logical thinker today because of it ... "no stones left unturned".

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

lol, fortunately for me, I had family members, and we would swap food items when they were not looking .... lol .... my sister loves peas, I do not ..... too funny!!

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait til we get home."

Instead it was always "Just wait until your father gets home, lol and by then we were angels"

and one more, not mentioned .... lol

"Oh you are getting on my nerves!"
And I'd often ask, Mom, how many nerves do I have? .... lol and of course, revert to #4 for the answer .... lol

[bill2006]

Re: Will make you smile 2

LOL, excellent, passing it back to my folks.