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  • Stupid Travel Comments

    David Letterman has his "Stupid Pet Tricks." I offer my version: 25 "Stupid Traveler Comments" (along with the bemused agents' unspoken responses).
    • How can I leave Baltimore at 8:30 a.m. and get to Chicago at 8:35 a.m. when the flight takes an hour? (The plane flies really, really fast.)
    • Do I need to carry on my carry-on bags or can I check them? (Why not check yourself and let the bags have the seat?)
    • When am I going to receive my paper copy of the electronic ticket? (Uhm, what part of the word "electronic" has escaped you?)
    • Well, how will they know who I am if all I have is my photo ID? (Uhm ... ma'am, you forget we have the TSA manning security now.)
    • How much is a train to Jamaica? (We are sold out, but if you call Amtrak, they have space. Be sure to ask for a seat on the left side of the train so you don't miss the Lost City of Atlantis on the way down.)
    • What language do they speak in England? (Swahili. Would you like to purchase our "Learn Swahili in 10 Easy Steps" manual?)
    • The water is murky. I did not come to Jamaica to swim in murky water. (As I recall, a Category 4 hurricane just pelted the island and yet you insisted that you had to go. Right?)
    • The hotel would have been fine but all the employees were speaking Spanish. (The next time you are in Mexico, we will order some French-speaking Mexicans for your convenience.)
    • Does the water go all the way around this island? (Not on Tuesdays.)
    • Is Canada still the largest state? (They seem to think so.)
    • Is this a wide-body plane? (Yes.) Good, because my mother has a big butt. (I imagine this was followed by a swift upper cut.)
    • Don't they take American Express? (No, in China they take only French francs, but we still need to get you a visa.)
    • Why do I need to change clothes in Chicago? (Planes, ma'am. Planes. You change planes in Chicago.)
    • Do these stairs go up? (Not this set, sir. The up stairs are on the lower level.)
    • How do they get power to the ship? (Very long extension cords.)
    • Do you know what time the midnight buffet starts? (They are cutting costs, so now it is offered between 4:30 a.m. and 4:35 a.m.)
    • Does it rain in the rain forest? (Does a bear shi ... oh, never mind.)
    • Will the 24-hour café be open if I need to get a bite at 6 a.m.? (Ask the woman in line for the midnight buffet.)
    • Where is the best spot to watch the fireworks in London on the Fourth of July? (Come on, Yank. Just think about this for a ****second.)
    • My friend told me about a great hotel in Italy and it begins with a "B." (I know exactly which one it is. Can I have your credit card please?)
    • I am a vegetarian. Do they have vegetables in Kenya? (It is a strange thing in Africa, countries with two vowels in their names are vegetableless. It is just like some dry counties here in the United States.)
    • I am an advanced beginner rider. (Would that be "beginning to be advanced," or "advanced for beginning"?)
    • Please send a quote for a weeklong Costa Rica package with adventure in the jungle. (One helicopter drop coming up.)
    • Do I need a passport to go to Hawaii? (No, just a clue.)
    • If I convert $1,000 to the local currency, how much is it in U.S. dollars? (Sir, the WhartonSchool is on the line for you. They have an opening.)
    Last edited by SChajin; 08-31-2007, 09:59 PM. Reason: adding author
    Sharon Chajin

  • #2
    Re: Stupid Travel Comments

    ROFLMAO - Oh Sharon...way to go..OMG...i still can't stop laughing..that is way to funny and the scary part is ..i've heard similarly stupid questions... and comments...lol.

    I of course love the Jamaica ones...lol!!!
    Beezz
    sigpic


    ___________________
    http://www.beezworld.com

    http://www.bzzybeezwordz.blogspot.com

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    • #3
      Re: Stupid Travel Comments

      Wow .. lol .. make you wonder the people who live these days! haha
      Best regards,
      Jeremy

      www.cornwall4rent.com

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      • #4
        Re: Stupid Travel Comments

        that is so funny ... lol ...
        kym, merlin & tala
        creating white majick
        www.whiteshepherds.com.au
        www.unitedwhiteshepherds.com.au
        www.merlinsmajick.com
        www.kymdunbar.com

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        • #5
          Re: Stupid Travel Comments

          That is one of reason why I never buy books titled:

          Computer programming for Idiots,
          Photo Editing for Idiots,

          Only an Idiot would after being referred to as one.
          www.siapamoyanganda.com/
          Malaysian Family Tree Website From the
          State of Johor.

          HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO DREAM DREAMS AND ARE READY TO PAY THE PRICE TO MAKE THEM COME TRUE.

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          • #6
            Re: Stupid Travel Comments

            LOL
            Yes they Walk, Drive, and Fly among us.
            Mike

            Any excuse for non performance only weakens the charactor

            In God We Trust

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            • #7
              Re: Stupid Travel Comments

              how scary are these?
              Liz
              www.sebastopolparty.com
              www.raynordescendents.com

              Ring the bells that still can ring

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              • #8
                Re: Stupid Travel Comments

                lol Sharon

                Thanks.......ha ha

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                • #9
                  Re: Stupid Travel Comments

                  Originally posted by larazovich View Post
                  how scary are these?
                  lol Liz, No Brainers ...

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                  • #10
                    Re: Stupid Travel Comments

                    A good laugh.
                    Bill
                    www.blueearthtea.com
                    www.ftaaconsulting.com
                    www.iaval.com
                    www.theemeraldbay.com

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