Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

All Puns Intended

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • All Puns Intended

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start
    anything."

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well,"It's Not Unusual."

    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

    10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

    12. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) .... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    13. I went to a seafood disco last week..and pulled a mussel.

    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

    16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    17. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

    Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
    Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."


    18. And finally, there was the person who sent eighteen different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


    Liz
    www.sebastopolparty.com
    www.raynordescendents.com

    Ring the bells that still can ring

  • #2
    Re: All Puns Intended

    lol, very funny
    Bill
    www.blueearthtea.com
    www.ftaaconsulting.com
    www.iaval.com
    www.theemeraldbay.com

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: All Puns Intended

      .........good ones Feet!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: All Puns Intended

        Very good!
        Trish
        www.Limebrook.com
        www.MountainWalk.co.uk
        www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
        www.TucsonForBeginners.com
        www.Pets4kids.info

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: All Puns Intended

          I loved them Liz.
          Mirelle

          Comment

          Working...
          X