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    A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

    After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
    He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress
    disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely
    die."

    "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times.
    For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially
    nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your
    problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And
    most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If
    you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband
    will regain his health completely."

    On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor
    say?"

    "He said you're going to die," she replied.
    *******************
    Morris tells his doctor, "I am under a lot of stress, and I keep
    losing my temper with people, and insulting them... You have to help
    me, doc!"

    The doctor says, "All right. Well, lets see... Can you begin by
    telling me about your problem?"

    Replies Morris, "I just did, you stupid son-of-a-xxxxxx!"
    ****************
    Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that
    he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he
    knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that
    too."

    Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

    Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."
    Jerry

    Great Adult Gag Gifts
    Rockdale, TX - Class of 1965
    Milam County Historical Commission

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