Tweet
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that youquit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home& didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal& even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in 2 minutes &went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anythingthat connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or youdon't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to WestVirginiatogether!Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you &I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry fromwhat you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &griping. Too bad that doesn't work.I DID notice when you got a hair cutlast week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like agirl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't saysomething nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stoppedeating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you be cause the $49.99price tag was still on them & I prayed it was a coincidence that mysister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I won the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfillinglife you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensuresyou won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was bornCarl. I hope that's not a problem.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that youquit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home& didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal& even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in 2 minutes &went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anythingthat connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or youdon't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to WestVirginiatogether!Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you &I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry fromwhat you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &griping. Too bad that doesn't work.I DID notice when you got a hair cutlast week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like agirl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't saysomething nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stoppedeating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you be cause the $49.99price tag was still on them & I prayed it was a coincidence that mysister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I won the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfillinglife you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensuresyou won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was bornCarl. I hope that's not a problem.
Comment