Thread: Feedback on my direct response website requested

Hi all,

Well, all the weeks of hassling around and driving people mad J with my technical questions etc etc etc is finally done… the site is up and running and Clickbank have accepted me as a merchant so now all I have to do is sell!! LOL.

I’d appreciate comments on the site. It’s at www.flabfallsoff.com - a health, diet and weight loss site, and hosted by Voda ;)

This is the 1st site I’ve ever created by myself from scratch so be gentle J Well, you can also be frank if you want, lol. Basically it’s a very simple direct response site that takes people from A-Z in the selling process. Nothing fancy, just the basics. I’m selling a diet eBook pretty inexpensively – at $7.95 – and the reason why is that I’d rather someone HAVE the book than not! And I’d like to think the book is packed with goodies and tips, no waffle J

I think the aesthetics (design elements) are less important than the persuasiveness of the copy itself (tho of course the design elements are important too) - so I’d appreciate it if anyone could say whether they actually FELT like buying once they reached the bottom of the page. Was the copy intriguing? Did it hold the interest? etc.

Tks also to davidundalicia for all his patient forum posts (and private help) AND thanks in advance to anyone who posts!!

Chao 4 now

Will
PS as a service to those helpful folks on this forum, I’ll email a gratis copy of the book Flab Falls Off if you ask nicely, lol. Just email me at planet777@global.co.za

Will,
To answer your question, (and in spite of so many similar web sites promising to do the same) yes it did hold interest, so the text sells.
-A before picture might help, although not sure if it has a an positive effect with obese people.
-I found the text or vertical scroll a bit long and the font is large; did you try a smaller font? I would not split into more pages.

Almost forgot, yes I did think it would be worth reading.

Good luck.

Hi Bill,

tks for the feedback! Glad to know it held the interest. There's a gr8 book out there called Web Copy That Sells, by Maria Veloso. She's the queen of webcopywriting, so even tho I am a writer/copywriter anyway, her book helped a lot!! Recommended!

Re the Before pic: I didnt want to put this up coz I dont really have a good be4 pic! lol. But also coz as I say in the copy, was only perhaps 10 lbs over, so doesnt seem much of a point.

Sorry about the vertical scroll being long - dont know how to solve that. A lot of these direct response sites are long, it's part of their modus operandi - the more you tell the more you sell, etc ;)

Font: Most of the copy is Tahoma 12 point, I will have to think about this one......... :)

tks again

Will

Well is is informative

Thanks Sharon ;)

I tried to pack the info in, lol.

cheers

Will

I agree with Bill2006 and sharon it is informative but what would help you as well is positive feedback from others who have tried your formula but a lot of people will see only 1 testimony and that is from you the creator of your site and therefore may not take off. like richard simmons before he profited he gave his product away for free for 30 days with no sales and when he placed a guarentee on the weight loss within 30 days he recieved his testimonies and then started to charge a fair value on his product and now look at him rolling in the dough sorts speak lol. myself i am over weight by 95 lbs and have tried everything but will power is my down fault as well as excercise, so i gave up and now i don't try anything from sale pitches that sound the same as your site so trust me if it had worked for me i would be writting a testimonial that would last a lifetime. so here i am overweight and under paid, and maybe about 30-40 more years on earth.
also a lot of people swear by weight watchers but i swear by them too i tried it for a year and all i was watching was my weight going up not down. lol

good luck with your site may you have good fortune this year and many more to come.

Hi Will,
1. Before and after pictures are very important.
2. In the scheme of things you only lost a very small amount of weight compared to many people that will be reading/buying your ebook. You need testimonials and before/after pictures of people that were seriously overweight.
3. Don't go overboard, but add a couple more red text headers and bullet points really make items stand out.
Looks great and I am very interested in reading this!
dori

A couple things -
One, a single page is good on a site like this - but I agree if the text was a tad smaller it would be better. I also would get rid of any use of underlining - I tried to click on the book name everywhere you did that - and I really believe that the book name should be clickable - to the sales page.

You've not built your page all the way to the left in BV - so it's not centering properly - and not opening properly for people with an 800 width resolution. That's easily fixed by moving it over to the far left - and making sure you keep the center in browser ticked.

Good luck.

I think that the idea of before and after photos would improve site, Maybe the word Flab is kinda straong even though I understand where you are coming from. Well written and should do you well even considering the competition. It is a long scroll.

Hi Naghost, Dori, Bethers and Choco,

tks for all the feedback! I have much "food" for thought, lol.

tks again and will mail you the book Dori,

bye 4 now

Will