
Originally Posted by
Vasili
To answer your question: In a nutshell, NO.
Very unpolished and unrefined, and in this select market credibility is the critical element to any hope of conversion. The generation you are targeting are skittish enough as it is doing things online, and despite the efforts to keep your site more "legible" for them, the overall layout and design is crude and not credible to a degree that visitors would feel comfortable even getting to page two.
Why? Look at your images first: all distorted, not uniform or in a relevant presentation (they do not "flow" one to another, as in telling a story or even as a convenient visual link).
Then, look at the content development. I get the feeling you are trying to either say too much without enough meat to appear appealing, or you are not saying enough and bouncing to the next idea without finishing explaining the last. Even the font selection and colors are adding to the "basic" incongruence...
I would definitely consider creating more of a "page" appearance, complete with a complimentary background, not only to better project a sense of "order" to your layout, but to aid in the development of "presentation" -> 'blocks' of textual Content, demonstrated 'progession' including images and intro text + navigation, etc.
It may sound rather too blunt at first, but is not intended to be so: think of a web page as being an online "mini-book" and with that in mind, it should emphasize the first page as the "index"/foreward, and the importance of navigation as table of contents .... and then back to the 'content' and how precise it is developed (and it may help to think about the sentencve/paragraph/body structure of writing a college essay: how brief but full of info can it be done, with the "flow" as an essential element). Yes, composing SEO-focused copy is similar, but you should never warp traditional English writing style from the User-expected norms...especially when trying to connect with this age group, who are traditional in all aspects!