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Thread: Ponderisms -
      
   

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    West Burke Vermont
    Posts
    2,765

    Cool Ponderisms -

    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
    was God and I didn't

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

    4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

    8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

    11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
    medicine.

    13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    19.. Procrastinate Now!

    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

    22.. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

    23.. HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    24. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    3,422

    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    Lol, things to ponder in the morning. hmmmm

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    3,422

    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    How can there be self-help GROUPS?

    Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

    Why do doctors call what they do practice?

    If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

    When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

    "If winners never quit and quitters never win then who came up with the saying 'quit while you're ahead'?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Coral Springs, Florida
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    Gotta love them
    Sharon Chajin

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Wink Re: Ponderisms -

    Another funny. he he

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    LOL...ahh Kate ...ALL true for me...I don't ponder they are the rules of my life...lol
    Beezz
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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  7. #7
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    Wink Re: Ponderisms -

    A couple of rules per arm?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Near some trees
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    Here's a couple that often bugged me and definitely worth a thought... When you have nothing better to do of course :)

    How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

    Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

    Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

    Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

    If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

    How can Captain Kirk dodge phaser fire unless he movces at the speed of light?

    Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?



  9. #9
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    Mar 2006
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    Australia
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    1,329

    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    I am boycotting this thread.. my jaw hurts and I feel I gave my 6 pack a good workout from laughter.. This thread is a health hazard..

    Kate, Bill and Rob.. you never cease to amaze me..

    ROFL.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    West Burke Vermont
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    Nothing amazing Carlos, just real issues in life that we just dont take the time to think about!...hehe...

  11. #11
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    Concord, NC
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    lol....another deep ponder...

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Near some trees
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    Quote Originally Posted by racefan20
    If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
    Whoa there RF.. That sound like something that Socrates or Aristotle would have come up with LOL

    :D

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Australia
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    Default Re: Ponderisms -

    lmao.. RFL.. This is to funny..

    16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    uh huh.. all the f***** time..lmao

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