Thread: Why did the chicken cross the road -

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us,
or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for
it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the
"other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The
Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C\

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"

That is by far the most comprehensive, insightful and throughly amusing collection of explanations I have ever read.
I am currently assessing the viability of using this information as the basis of a proposed study of the various possibilities related to the described phenomenon, which I will use to create one or more thesis. At that point I will be looking for funding for a comprhensive investigation that will finally reveal the true and provable cause of this momentous event.
If you wish to be involved in the financial support of this important and detailed academic study, I would advise you to present your sponsrship proposal promtly, as we are in detailed negotiations with Berkely as I write.

It was obviously a serious walk for a novice walker - Mark, I will provide a link to your thesis from my site!! No funds for sponsorship, but I can provide a few eggs!

well my contribution is that there are many theories to one subject.
your answer will be on the one you choose to listen to or come up with your own answer....
A friend once asked me that proverbial question : whats the sound of one hand clapping.
I answered : which hand.

Trish,
For goodness sake you should know better than to mention the egg!
The issue of which came first is the top secret topic of my follow up longitudenal study, requiring a sponsered farm somewhere nice, 3 chickens, a fast car for trips to the local egg testing center, and a miniscule stipend of 100 k p.a. or so! It should not take more than 35-43.7 years to complete the study and the finished report will be available for instant download on line, no more than 5.2- 6 minutes after the study is complete. Advance orders for the report are being taken now. Paypal is our preferred payment option!

Jade Goodey
What is a chicken?

I have only one thing to save in my new vegetarian turning state...if I see a chicken looking like it wants to cross a road...I don't need to the philosophy behind it...it however better be fast or it will be dinner...for me....lol

why did the chicken cross the road?
cause Beezz was chasing it with some jerk sauce!.....lol
yums!

YUp...tha' was me...and it was yummy in my tummy....lol

I just ate a half roasted Chicken. Had to stop it crossing the road somehow :)

Originally Posted by ~Rob

I just ate a half roasted Chicken. Had to stop it crossing the road somehow :)

LOL...you tooo...another bites the dust....see chickens were not meant for philosophizing (is that even a word)...they were meant to tantilize the taste buds of the discerning food enthusiast....what the heck am I talking about...they were meant to be roasted/toated/fried/fricassed/etc and eaten heartily....some vegetarian I'm gonna be....sigh....lol

Chicken Lovers Rule ... Even though that sounded a bit scary and perverted I know what I meant LOLOLOL.

Chicken = Protein = Healthy living :) ... Unless of course its from KFC and then they probably use a big syringe to suck all of the protein out before serving LOL

I love big syringe sucked chicken from KFC!...yums...dont get me started on the love of KFC!!!!!!!!
oh yums.....

Secretly I also think that Fillet Burgers from KFC are tasty but I always go for a testanus shot afterwards LOLOLOL

Kassi59:

I think the chicken crossed the road to avoid the interview.

The interviews were all in charactor, but I liked Marthas and the Colonels the best. LMAO

Originally Posted by circuspet.com

I think the chicken crossed the road to avoid the interview.

Ahem...Uhh....I think you meant "turkey" there, Pet, didn't you?

Vasili:

Its certin he was fowl for starting all that contraversy, and then duck the interview himself.

LOL.

Good 1

I see we've got back to fried chicken again! LOL - are we all too busy site building to eat real food???

Limebrook1:

........I eat more chicken any man ever seen oh yea ....I'm a back door man

Originally Posted by limebrook1

I see we've got back to fried chicken again! LOL - are we all too busy site building to eat real food???

Shhhh..dont tell the chicken its not real...it would make em tear up and run...

Chicken, YUM YUM !

good one Kate