common' what do ya say girls?-

kassi59 · #1 08-20-2006, 11:53 AM

When your out at the pub after a long day and just want to relax..isnt there always 'that guy' there....well heres some come backs to their lines:

This one I personal invented, AND used..lol:
Man: "My you are so beautiful!"
Woman: "Ayup, Im drunk too!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

Astraltraveller · #2 08-20-2006, 01:19 PM

Hi Kate,
They are good, but please just go a little gentler on us boys(men).
Why not write a book to keep us laughing with all that humor....!!!!
Keep going girl........

beegud2 · #3 08-20-2006, 03:44 PM

LMAO...ROFL...omigod HAHAHAHAHAHA

SChajin · #4 08-20-2006, 03:48 PM

ha ha ha ha ha just great, loved the phone book one

limebrook1 · #5 08-20-2006, 05:45 PM

Loved 'em all! Keep it coming Kate!

FPRob · #6 08-20-2006, 05:49 PM

Only women who dont get chatted up post jokes like that HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<is Kate's friend>

FPRob · #7 08-20-2006, 06:11 PM

Sorry to double post.... come on ladies... I posted that expecting to be flamed (or at least chased down the street by an angry hoarde) so... Where are the flames? LOL hehehehe

<stands tall and can take the heat> ROFL

beegud2 · #8 08-20-2006, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FPRob

Sorry to double post.... come on ladies... I posted that expecting to be flamed (or at least chased down the street by an angry hoarde) so... Where are the flames? LOL hehehehe

<stands tall and can take the heat> ROFL

Oh we're ,more diabolical than that ...you never know what we're planning....hehe...<rubbing hands as she stirs the cauldron and drops eye of newt>

FPRob · #9 08-20-2006, 06:53 PM

haha a woman scorned etc etc etc :)

beegud2 · #10 08-20-2006, 06:58 PM

Scorned..who's scorned..I just like slaving over a hot stove and brewing a good potion for emergencies and the occassional revenge...a girl can never have enough potions...lol

FPRob · #11 08-20-2006, 07:16 PM

LOL :)

Code-Burnt-Gemini · #12 08-20-2006, 08:40 PM

hahahahahahaha! even though I am a guy those were still very funny! lol i am soooooooooooooooooo glad i dont have any of those lines, nor the need to ever use them!

man o man i feel sorry for all of the single guys out there... ( the single guys that get desperate enough to use those lines that is ... ) hahahaha

ez-ez · #13 08-20-2006, 11:06 PM

LMAO..
so cool..
Now every time I try to pick up at the pub, I'll use one of those lines and pray that she comes back with an answer like those... just for a laugh.. lol

FPRob · #14 08-21-2006, 12:13 AM

This is also a good opportunity to come up with counter-lines now that we can kind of assess the replies that will be given :)

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man:" and thats exactly why you should be with a guy like me, permanent servicing" LOL

circuspet.com · #15 08-21-2006, 12:30 AM

real storie:

The bets burn I ever had as a young man happened one night in the disco. I was dancing with all the women and not paying too much attention to any of them and kept noticing this really hot chick checking me out all night long. After the club closed and everyone was leaving
she steped up to me , looked me up and down, then handed me slip of paper and said call me in and hour. I thought to myself, "booty call". So I hurried home brushed my teeth, put on some more aftershave, and called the number she had given me, only to be answered,"Hello this is dial a prayer". I can't remember the girl but I'll never forget the laugh she gave me.

ez-ez · #16 08-21-2006, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by circuspet.com

real storie:

The bets burn I ever had as a young man happened one night in the disco. I was dancing with all the women and not paying too much attention to any of them and kept noticing this really hot chick checking me out all night long. After the club closed and everyone was leaving
she steped up to me , looked me up and down, then handed me slip of paper and said call me in and hour. I thought to myself, "booty call". So I hurried home brushed my teeth, put on some more aftershave, and called the number she had given me, only to be answered,"Hello this is dial a prayer". I can't remember the girl but I'll never forget the laugh she gave me.

ROFL

Man.. did you get counselling for that..?? .. I know I would.. lol

From now on, I'll be hanging round the night clubs with a laptop with the white pages installed on it for 'on the spot phone number cross check'.

ez-ez · #17 08-21-2006, 01:43 AM

Man: "My you are so beautiful!"
Woman: "Ayup, Im drunk too!"
Man: “I know how that feels.. didn’t I just say you’re beautiful?”

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: “Ahhh.. that’s right.. you’re the new chik they hired coz you have the most experience”

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: “awww.. still in pain, huh?”

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: “No sweetheart.. not for me.. I was just wondering why aren’t you resting your other butt cheek on it”

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: “Don’t be silly.. the rock is hanging over your side of the bed and it only falls after we’re done.”

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: “oooooh… phone sex freak, ey?”

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: “Fine, so can you get off the seat so I can get the phone book, shorty?”

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: “Sorry, but you aint doing a good job”

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
Man: “oh, so why do you look like ‘buy one get one for free?”

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: “Full, huh?”

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: “I’m hoping you have X-Large condoms in your bag”

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: “Can I tape it on video?’

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"
Man: “Nah.. my poor donkey died.. I’m looking for a replacement”

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: “Sure thing.. here’s a spare set of ‘Double A’ batteries.. you’ll need’em”

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: “Who said anything about a gift..!! You gonna have to pay, sunshine”

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."
Man: “Before or after breakfast?”

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: “I know, it does look funny when your genitals is longer than your legs”

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."
Man: “Point taken.. so shall we say ‘the dog show theatre’ 8pm Wednesday night’?

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: “Shame.. I’m a Hindu and warship the cow.. it’s hard to come by a goddess like you”

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: “awww.. how sweet.. and you even wanna pay my mortgage..”

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Man: “Sure, but would you travel all that distance every time you feel you want some since I’m the only one who’ll do it?”