Web Hosting Vodahost    

Home Take The Royal Tour! Order Now Features Prices
Go Back   Web Hosting > Other Forums > The Voda Lounge (Chit Chat)

Notices

The Voda Lounge (Chit Chat) Introduce yourself. Open Discussions, Tell a Joke, Gossip, Chit Chat about anything. (Almost Anything:) No Web Hosting or BlueVoda talk permitted in this forum. We have plenty of other forums for that purpose. Most importantly, HAVE FUN!

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-23-2006, 06:21 AM
LadyEye's Avatar
General & Forum Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 9,908
Send a message via MSN to LadyEye
Default Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

I'm Glad I'm a Man

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese
I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west.

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
And when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.

And I don't go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
And when you ask why get all bitter and surly.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.
I don't carry our differences into the sack.

I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
Or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
I know what the time is and I know what to do.

And I honestly think its a privilege for me
To have these two balls and stand when I pee.
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.
It's more fun than dealing with women after all.

I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.
I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure.
I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.
I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.
I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.

I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!


I'm Glad I'm A Woman

Im glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.

I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.
And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.

And I don't go around "re-adjusting" my crotch,
or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.

And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.
I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!

And I honestly think its a privilege for me,
To have these two boobs and to squat when I pee.
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,
Or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.
Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,
Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.
Forget all about that old penis envy.
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.

I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Spurl this Post!Reddit! Wong this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-23-2006, 06:26 AM
Dream Lady's Avatar
Major General
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 2,084
Default Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

lmao!!! Equal time.....those are great!
__________________
Cindy Smentowski
CLICK HERE on how to ask for assistance on the forum
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Spurl this Post!Reddit! Wong this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-23-2006, 06:29 AM
Vasili's Avatar
The Generalissimo
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,349
Default Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

In the immortal words of a very wise man on the subject (Richard Pryor):

"I loves my womenses!"


Since VodaTalk is PG, I can't relate the whole silloquy....
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Spurl this Post!Reddit! Wong this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-23-2006, 06:35 AM
LadyEye's Avatar
General & Forum Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 9,908
Send a message via MSN to LadyEye
Default Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dream Lady
lmao!!! Equal time.....those are great!
I thought they were a riot Cindy .... I think I am going to call you

"Cindy Lou Who" lol ....


Vasili - we're reading the code, from Pryor .... lol
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Spurl this Post!Reddit! Wong this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-23-2006, 12:31 PM
kassi59's Avatar
Major General
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Newark Vermont
Posts: 2,782
Default Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

Hey thats my nickname! well 'katie lou who' cause I still think there is good in the grinch, just gotta find it!...lol

and I kinda like spam...which will bring me into the spam song...lol
Good one!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Spurl this Post!Reddit! Wong this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:50 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC7
2005-2009 VodaHost Web Hosting Your Perfect Web Host - All Rights Reserved

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176