Thread: Joke Wanted Ad

WANTED

A tall, well-built man with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates good lic-
orise, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.

omg j/k

Originally Posted by LadyEye

WANTED

A tall, well-built man with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates good lic-
orise, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.

omg j/k

No-one ever is really "just kidding"....

I had a whole message here, but thought better. (Mystery is better, right?) This "replacement" will have to do.

You deserve a man who finds it easy to be your best friend without trying to be.
You deserve to feel comforted by a presence that is always accepting and forgiving.
You deserve to drift off to sleep with a smile, even when you are angry.
You deserve to get flowers weekly "just because"......
You deserve to wake up Saturday mornings to the soothing smell of your favorite tea brought bedside and your back being gently massaged.
You deserve to shop unrestrained with a Black Amex card at any damn store you want to, even if you ARE wearing jeans and a tee.
You deserve to not do housework again if you so choose.
You deserve to have your own garage, filled with whatever YOU want in it.
You deserve a 21" monitor for when you want to go online, not when you have to get online.
You deserve to have your name known by everyone at your favorite posh restraunts, and the table you like without waiting with an overgrown pager that lights up like something leftover from DisneyWorld.
You deserve to enjoy candlelight picnics in the livingroom regularly.
You deserve to have your favorite candles, scents, and such to be stockpiled FOR you and not BY you.
You deserve to be annoyed having choices of champagnes to bathe with.
You deserve to have a fancy binder to collect all the poems written for you that you find stuck to mirrors, your dashboard, inside books, etc.

I could go on for hours....all because I truly know how important the small things can be, and how simple it really is to make things wonderful without really trying....

Vasili ... I am glad I can read fast as you type so slowly, lol ... u were gone for hours, or so it seemed, sigh, I could stay and re-read and re-read but there is one thing more ...... What about the frog legs? :)


All men see the same objects, but all men do not equally understand them. Intelligence is the tongue that discerns and tastes them ... hmmmm

I do "froglegs" in the bedroom and the pool, NOT the kitchen.....

Originally Posted by Vasili

I do "froglegs" in the bedroom and the pool, NOT the kitchen.....

lol ... well you just haven't been to one of my kitchen parties .... lol ...

LOL
Amazingly, I takes but a few seconds to "heat things up" in the kitchen, despite everything being tile, stainless steel, marble and glass.....

Spins a whole new definition on "skipping straight to dessert" doesn't it???

Originally Posted by Vasili

LOL
Amazingly, I takes but a few seconds to "heat things up" in the kitchen, despite everything being tile, stainless steel, marble and glass.....

Spins a whole new definition on "skipping straight to dessert" doesn't it???

lol "Manly yes, but I like it too"

A common dessert in our territory is "Sex in a Pan" yummy - Chocolate pudding on a layer of crust with a "cool whipped" toppiing ..... scrumptious, served in it's entirety in the "Kitchen" ..... no chefs allowed .... lol

"Finger licking Good!"
WHOOPS! wrong commercial.....

A healthy appetite is always appreciated, and it matters not where you get the appetite, as long as you always eat at home!
(With a sticky note on the fridge as a reminder to never serve leftovers)

Originally Posted by Vasili

"Finger licking Good!"
WHOOPS! wrong commercial.....

A healthy appetite is always appreciated, and it matters not where you get the appetite, as long as you always eat at home!
(With a sticky note on the fridge as a reminder to never serve leftovers)

Awe ... always great to mention the colonel, even though we are both beyond that .... ssshhhh .... not to mention it yet though ... ssshhhh

It's always nice to leave your home "full" and if you do you will never go hungry ..... and then it's back to the kitchen pronto .....

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Awe ... always great to mention the colonel, even though we are both beyond that .... ssshhhh .... not to mention it yet though ... ssshhhh

It's always nice to leave your home "full" and if you do you will never go hungry ..... and then it's back to the kitchen pronto .....

100% Agree.

I prefer to leave a home completely "as it should be." Makes the day incredibly difficult to endure....

Originally Posted by Vasili

100% Agree.

I prefer to leave a home completely "as it should be." Makes the day incredibly difficult to endure....

A home is where the heart is ... without a doubt ... my doggy dislikes me leaving as she cannot have her belly rubbed 24/7 ... lol ....

It's nice to get out .... poor doggy ... and uniquely so her name is "Lady" ... sometimes I call her LE ... just slips out ... she is beautiful ...the Pie of My Eye ....

It is good to see you smile so.....

I take it it's just you two lady's to keep each other comforted?

Originally Posted by Vasili

It is good to see you smile so.....

I take it it's just you two lady's to keep each other comforted?

She is an amazing dog, although when she barks at times when hearing a noise, that is almost the worst thing she can do, puts me into a frightened state, I'll crawl under the bed and take her with me ... neither really wants to see what may be lurking .... yes she is my comfort ... i'd show you a pic, however, i am not at home, I'm actually at my friends house, on her computer, drinking her beer ... awe ...great friends ... she is having a "halloween" party tomorrow evening and while most of the decorations are done, more is needed, so we will attend to this ini the morning .... but I will show you my Lady!! She's beautiful ... a minature collie, 6 years old, smart as a whip, can jump over my head if I am leaving the house, and I am 5'7" tall ... yeahhhh

Cool!

Originally Posted by Vasili

Cool!

Yeah, she is no longer a "hot dog" ... being a "Rookie" dog owner, I had the experience of after two days of having her, her going through the cycle of what we commonly term as "heat" woooo .... lol ... how to break me in .... It certainly wasn't anything I was looking for or had experienced, I am now proficient in this matter .... lol ... and diapers do not work .... omy

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Yeah, she is no longer a "hot dog" ... being a "Rookie" dog owner, I had the experience of after two days of having her, her going through the cycle of what we commonly term as "heat" woooo .... lol ... how to break me in .... It certainly wasn't anything I was looking for or had experienced, I am now proficient in this matter .... lol ... and diapers do not work .... omy

Aleways buy the doggieDiapers at least a size smaller than what you know you need. If not, wash them in hot water a few times.....

(I was the one who took care of our Sheltie....back when I was there to take care of our Sheltie) GOD, I must be well-trained.....or so "old-school" I squeak!

Originally Posted by Vasili

Aleways buy the doggieDiapers at least a size smaller than what you know you need. If not, wash them in hot water a few times.....

(I was the one who took care of our Sheltie....back when I was there to take care of our Sheltie) GOD, I must be well-trained.....or so "old-school" I squeak!

I'll remember that Vasili, that's a dapper diaper lesson you give there ... lolyou are experienced ... Do you dry them? roflmao

Originally Posted by LadyEye

I'll remember that Vasili, that's a dapper diaper lesson you give there ... lolyou are experienced ... Do you dry them? roflmao

They are self-drying....just watch as they hang on as the dog runs wildly through the neighborhood! LOLOLOLOLOL

Pure TORTURE, that's what it is.....sick SOB that I am! LOLOLOLOL

Originally Posted by Vasili

They are self-drying....just watch as they hang on as the dog runs wildly through the neighborhood! LOLOLOLOLOL

Pure TORTURE, that's what it is.....sick SOB that I am! LOLOLOLOL

My poor Lady ... lol ... she's not allowed out then .... no neighborhood pimps for her ... lol


I don't know why, maybe frog legs still on the brain, lol, but as I was reading that, it brought back the memories of my childhood, when we would go collecting frogs in the brook and we would dress them with toilet paper ... lol ... we were fine doing that, but the boys next door wanted to hang the frogs on the clothes line .... we always had to keep a close EYE on our frogs .... oh my

I too, recall collecting frogs at night up at a lake - so many it alomost filled a garbage can, until I realized the sheer weight of those on top would probably crush the bottom ones!
Stupid, GREAT fun! Torturing? Not my speed.....taking on the bully in defense of a smaller friend tired of being "tortured", that's me. Writing more than 6,000 poems in a single year - me too. Ex-Ranger sniper, did that. Teach Autistic 2nd graders, guilty.
So many neat (and stupid) memories that it makes it extremely difficult to sum up or to recall to another without creating a wrong impression or coming across like some complete madman.....LOL. Whatever! Pass the expresso, would you?