Fluency in English

bill2006 · #1 11-18-2006, 05:31 AM

As we write our web sites, this little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, and neither ***** nor pine in pine*****.

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France- Surprise!

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If a teacher taught something, why didn't a preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people:
-recite at a play and play at a recital?
-ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
-have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Dream Lady · #2 11-18-2006, 07:51 AM

This all makes perfect cents to me! Why is it sense and not cents?

Astraltraveller · #3 11-18-2006, 06:00 PM

One confused language the confused English language.......lol

limebrook1 · #4 11-18-2006, 06:07 PM

Very good!

asirimarco · #5 11-18-2006, 07:39 PM

if i wasn't born to it i don't think i could learn it and the spelling plumber - where is the b when you say it - egads ann

bill2006 · #6 11-19-2006, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dream Lady

This all makes perfect cents to me! Why is it sense and not cents?

Then again it could be scents which you don't want back when you really want cents.
And don't forget with park in the driveway and drive on the parkway.

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