Thread: No Christmas This Year

The Night Before X-mas

Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed at the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to s**** the whole works.

I've busted my butt for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?

The old lady whines cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better,
Those sobs from IRS sent me a letter.

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny,
Who the heck ever sent Santa Clause any money.

And the kids these days - they all are the pits.
They want the impossible - Those mean little ****s.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,
Assembling dolls - Their arms, legs and heads.

I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots, they think I'm IBM!

If you think that's bad, just picture this

They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard,
And if I don't smile, the parents think I'm weird.

Flying through the air, dodging the trees,
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.

I'm quitting this job - There's just no enjoyment.
I'll sit on my fat butt and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year. Now you know the reason.
I found me a blonde . . . I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Love,
St. Nick

lol, coals!

lol LE