Thread: Couldn't resist sharing this!

INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0
>
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the
> flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
> Boyfriend
> 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such
> as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
> programs such as MUFC 5.0, Sale Sharks 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
> system.
>
> I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
>
> What can I do? Signed,
>
> Desperate
>
> =======================================
>
> Dear Desperate,
>
> First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
>
> Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to
> download Tears 6.2 Don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
>
> If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
> automatically
> run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> But, remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
> default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, and Beer 6.1
>
> Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
> background, that will eventually seize control of all your system
> resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
> These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> memory
> and cannot learn new applications quickly.
>
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
> performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck, Tech Support
Ernie

Hahaha.

That is the funniest thing I have heard in a while.

That is great.

very funny

very good.......

That is pretty witty.

nice one. lol I like it.

I've never seen that version. I have seen a similar one comparing girlfriend to wife, so I guess this is the companion piece. Kind of funny.

John Morley
South Africa

Boyfriend 5.0 is like a "worm". It is designed to infiltrate defenses and firewalls, and embed itself into the heart of all versions of Girlfriend 1.0.....infinity.
Once embedded its almost impossible to remove without a total re-format, or an upgrade to Husband 1.0. However, 70% of Boyfriend programs are incompatable with Husband 1.0 and cannot be upgraded.

Fortunately all Girlfriend programs come with comprehensive, and highly advanced anti-worm packages designed to delay merging of shared files until compatibility has been determined.

The Husband 1.0 program is totally different to the Boyfriend 5.0 program because it it designed for a different purpose.

Boyfriend is an invasive program designed to break down resistance to address book merging and is usually offered on a trial period basis.

Husband is a constructive program designed to be upgraded to Family 1.0 after the successful upgrading of Girlfriend to Wife 1.0.

Sometimes difficulty occurs with the upgrade of Boyfiend to Husband, Girlfriend to Wife, and eventually Husband and Wife to Family 1.0.

Successful upgrading of Husband 1.0 and Wife1.0 to Family 1.0 can be problematic because of "teething bugs" in the new operating system.

Sometimes, undesireable and deep rooted parts of the Boyfriend / Girlfriend programs get transferred to Family 1.0 and *******te. That causes incompatibility and the inability to create the necessary common files to complete the upgrade to Family 1.0.

Best results come from storing all desireable Boyfriend/Girlfriend files in your Romance folder, and constantly refresh that folder with new common files.
Work with those files regularly and add new files whenever you can.
"Surprise" is particularly usefull addition.It is compatible with both Husband 1.0 and Wife 1.0. and its a great addition to the Romance folder.

"Reward" is also good. It gives great results if applied properly from Wife 1.0.
Install the Reward autoresponder loop into Husband 1.0 as a hidden file. Beware,Reward can take control of your operating system and sometimes deletes Surprise, so use it wisely.

Successful upgrading to higher version of Family can be done without losing
the desireably components of Boyfriend / Girlfriend, if you use Reward and Surprise at the right times.

A good "XXX" Folder is essential....make sure you keep those files in your password protected area and dont share them with your network.
Viruses that wipe out Family proliferate in this area.

Husband and Wife can be enriched by Reward every time progress is made towards Family. Use Surprise often, and supplement with Adventure whenever you can.
Don't be afraid to install "Out of the Box" at any stage.

I have been using these programs for thirty five years since my first upgrade to Husband 1.0.

So, understand that Husband is different to Boyfriend, just the same as Wife is different to Girlfriend. They are both interface programs that lead to successful operation of Family.

John M








These include

Very good!

A sign in a psychiatrist's clinic says: "Madness is expensive - We accept Credit Cards".

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of
the dogs was looking glum, and the second dog turned to him and asked,
''What are you in for''?

''I'm in big trouble,'' he said. ''My owner has a really nice sports car with
leather seats—he took me for a ride and I was so excited I peed on the
seat, and now he's having put to sleep.''

''I know how you feel,'' said the second dog. ''My owner has a beautiful
expensive oriental rug.The other day they were late getting home from
work and I just couldn't help myself...I **** all over their nice carpet and
ruined it.They're having me put to sleep too.''

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. ''So what are you in
here for?'' they asked.

''Well,'' the third dog said, ''my owner likes to do her housework in the
nude.The other day, she was vacumming and she knelt down to vacuum
under the sofa and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and
had the ride of my life.''

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, ''So she's having you put to sleep,
too, Huh?''

''No,'' said the other dog, ''I'm having my nails clipped.''