Thread: The Senior Lady Driver

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?



Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your licence please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers... The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.





Don't Mess With Old Ladies

I'm going cross the road to the otherside next time i see an old lady so i don't get caught out. lol

LMAO Brilliant! Like the unexpected ones.

Fantastic!

Im going to remember this just in case it happens to me when I'm older ;) lol

Very Good....That was very funny and not what I expected...thanks for that one

Its superb lol. Was looking for something to cheer me up, then I received this E-mail! Came with great timing lol.

For one moment, I thought you were describing what happened to CL or LadyEye.

Great story.............

oooo! Wait for them to come online lol!

Before they hang, draw, and quarter me, I need to point out that any lady over the age of 21 is an older woman to me.....................

Some how I dont actually think that is going to save you lol!

Before they hang, draw, and quarter me, I need to point out that any lady over the age of 21 is an older woman to me.....................

I am keeping SCHTUM.........Well David it was nice having you around, maybe you will end up in the boot of the car...lol

^ Lmao!!

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Before they hang, draw, and quarter me, I need to point out that any lady over the age of 21 is an older woman to me.....................

It was really nice knowing you David. You have not got a hope of getting out of this one.
lol

Well I could always go and play COOKIE MONSTER with them both............

Excellent!!!

David, regards and second that!

Originally Posted by darklight

Im going to remember this just in case it happens to me when I'm older ;) lol

I'll just remember it!

lol good one Teri.........

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

For one moment, I thought you were describing what happened to CL or LadyEye.

Great story.............

hmmm?

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Before they hang, draw, and quarter me, I need to point out that any lady over the age of 21 is an older woman to me.....................

Too Late.............to redeem yourself now........lol

You're HANGED!

Cookie Monster eh!! Choco ... lol

Well seems you all had a little chuckle with what might become of David and his posties eh!! Quite funny actually, I liked it.....

BUT ..................

You see, I look at it like this!!

Regardless of anyone's age ... although David, I doubt you are that young ... PROVE IT!! lol

But regardless of anyone's age, I would say that Monsieur David is Brilliant. That's right Brilliant ... (further proof he is not that young)

He can see that CL & I are talented enough to mend any situation we may encounter!!

Bravo David!! So glad you recognize this trait in us!! You may now begin your game of "Cookie Monster" .... lol

By the way Teri - Good one!!!

But.......I hanged him LE...............lol Ooops

Originally Posted by C L

Too Late.............to redeem yourself now........lol

You're HANGED!

Thank goodness the weight of all those COOKIES broke the rope before I choked............nice try CL................

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Cookie Monster eh!! Choco ... lol

Well seems you all had a little chuckle with what might become of David and his posties eh!! Quite funny actually, I liked it.....

BUT ..................

You see, I look at it like this!!

Regardless of anyone's age ... although David, I doubt you are that young ... PROVE IT!! lol

But regardless of anyone's age, I would say that Monsieur David is Brilliant. That's right Brilliant ... (further proof he is not that young)

He can see that CL & I are talented enough to mend any situation we may encounter!!

Bravo David!! So glad you recognize this trait in us!! You may now begin your game of "Cookie Monster" .... lol

By the way Teri - Good one!!!

Its funny how the older sister is nearly always right............I like the word Brilliant...........You are so perceptive LE, and the fact that I occasionally play COOKIE MONSTER shows you how young I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Its funny how the older sister is nearly always right............I like the word Brilliant...........You are so perceptive LE, and the fact that I occasionally play COOKIE MONSTER shows you how young I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ho Ho Ho, David ... and your Brilliance continues to show through ... and well since Eye introduced you to "Cookie Monster" it merely tells me one of two things, You are Only as Young as You Feel, (Like Eye) or you Like Older Women teaching you "New Tricks" ... Come clean now David, Eye's Curious!!!! oops, who said that ... lol

Well, to satisfy your curiosity.....I am as young as I feel(and hope to continue feeling..) AND I love Any woman to teach me new tricks..............

Wanna play COOKIE MONSTER nowwwwwwwww

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Its funny how the older sister is nearly always right............I like the word Brilliant...........You are so perceptive LE, and the fact that I occasionally play COOKIE MONSTER shows you how young I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can really learn alot from posts here....OLDER? hmmmm
ONLY "Ocasionalll play"..Wellllll

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Thank goodness the weight of all those COOKIES broke the rope before I choked............nice try CL................

Cookies saved my life, so yesssssssssss please.............

ROFLMAO...Hmmm...i missed the cookie moanster game...waaaaaa....i wanna a cookie...lol.

Hmmm...and David what kind of trouble are you getting your self into these days...and btw asthe saying goes...like fine wine ..we get better with time...and cost more too...lol

He is into COOKIE TROUBLE Beez........cookie cookie cookie cookie......no he doesn't like the aged cookies..............ONLY young cookies......lol

Not true............mature wine is like mature women.....both improve with age....

lol.........you like the young cookies....na na na na na

Hey wait a minute, who ever heard of an old cookie? hmmmm cookies don't stick around that long..........somebody always, always eats them.

hmmm...i say old or young ...cookies RULE...well until they get eaten...life is so short for a cookie and that's sadly how the cookie crumbles...sigh...wiping a tear away as nother cookie gets chomped down...

Yeh ...... tears, so sad about cookies, here one minute, gone the next......err pass the cookies Beez. Chomp chomp

Well theres just no answer to that, is there............

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Well theres just no answer to that, is there............

Sure there is ..here have a cookie....lol

Ok, where's the drinks? Can't have cookies with no drinks........hmmm, milk or alien juice?