Thread: Choosing A Wife........

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and ******* to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and ****** today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Leader I can already tell you are getting lonely leaving this planet ...

You are in every Boob Thread going ....

lmao at you ....

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Leader I can already tell you are getting lonely leaving this planet ...

You are in every Boob Thread going ....

lmao at you ....

What can I say?.......I'm a boob man.......lol......hee hee hee .

Just think ten days in space without see any boobs......lol.....hee hee hee

Originally Posted by Astraltraveller

What can I say?.......I'm a boob man.......lol......hee hee hee .

Just think ten days in space without see any boobs......lol.....hee hee hee

Now I know why they call television the "Boob Tube" .... totally goes hand in hand with you men .... Boobs and Tubes ....

You know what, it wouldn't bother me if I were 5000 light years in space without seeing any boobs, lol ... can't agree with you there .... good thing eh!!

that was great, im gonna send that to my gramps.

Hey there are Boob Threads???????? I really couldn't see anything wrong with the mans reasoning for marrying. LE you can't go that long OBO!

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Now I know why they call television the "Boob Tube" .... totally goes hand in hand with you men .... Boobs and Tubes ....

You know what, it wouldn't bother me if I were 5000 light years in space without seeing any boobs, lol ... can't agree with you there .... good thing eh!!

Don't worry it doesn't bother me either not see any boobs out there or down here.....lol......just kidding.....the least boobs, the least head aches.......lol

Originally Posted by Astraltraveller

Don't worry it doesn't bother me either not see any boobs out there or down here.....lol......just kidding.....the least boobs, the least head aches.......lol

aha ... is that you Lina ... that doesn't sound like Astral ... not worrying about seeing any boobs, lol ... you two playing tricks ... lol ... Will the real Leader please stand up .... and I hope he shows up as "Clint in the Tub" after a few days after his return ... that was a good one, time for CL to give him another bubble bath ... lmao ....

But in any event, yes Leader ....... Two Boobs is All You Should Ever Want!! And for a lady, she should only want one Boob ... and that would be her husband ... lmao

hee hee hee

Originally Posted by LadyEye

aha ... is that you Lina ... that doesn't sound like Astral ... not worrying about seeing any boobs, lol ... you two playing tricks ... lol ... Will the real Leader please stand up .... and I hope he shows up as "Clint in the Tub" after a few days after his return ... that was a good one, time for CL to give him another bubble bath ... lmao ....

But in any event, yes Leader ....... Two Boobs is All You Should Ever Want!! And for a lady, she should only want one Boob ... and that would be her husband ... lmao

hee hee hee

Aha... my dear 2nd in COMMAND no it's not Lina .....it's THE LEADER himself.......lol
I surely will show up in a Bath Tub......lol.....after 10 days in Space I'll surely need it .....lol
And as for boobs ....Two is all I ever want.......lol

One in the hand is worth two on the body................

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

One in the hand is worth two on the body................

Come on David ....let's not get naughty.....lol

Thats tame when you consider what we get up to at the COOKIE MONSTER parties...............

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Thats tame when you consider what we get up to at the COOKIE MONSTER parties...............

I can just imagine!!!!!!!.......lol

Originally Posted by Astraltraveller

Don't worry it doesn't bother me either not see any boobs out there or down here.....lol......just kidding.....the least boobs, the least head aches.......lol

I'd say the headaches are because you are looking at the boobs so hard and for so long! LOL

Originally Posted by MandyN

I'd say the headaches are because you are looking at the boobs so hard and for so long! LOL

Well it's about time Missy, lol, I was about to sing out to you tonight ... you have been missing in action, and everyone knows you don't want me singing ....

How are you, hows the little bubbie, the medium bubbie and the big bubbie ... lol

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Well it's about time Missy, lol, I was about to sing out to you tonight ... you have been missing in action, and everyone knows you don't want me singing ....

How are you, hows the little bubbie, the medium bubbie and the big bubbie ... lol

I've been really busy trying to improve my aussierewards website cosmetically... the little bubbie is trying to rearrange my internal organs by kicking and punching all day and night (that's how it feels anyway)...lol the medium bubbie is just a joy, and the bug bubbie keeps losing his dummy and throwing a tantrum as a result... lol (maybe big bubbie is jealous because little bubbie is going to be hogging my boobs lol)

lmao Mandy ... those big bubbies hate sharing eh!! Oh yeah, that is too funny and most likely correcto!~!

Oh well that is nice that you have been busy doing that with your site, always room for improvement and betterment right!!

I look forward to seeing your results ....

Say Hi to Big Bubby Hoggy ... lol

Originally Posted by LadyEye

lmao Mandy ... those big bubbies hate sharing eh!! Oh yeah, that is too funny and most likely correcto!~!

Oh well that is nice that you have been busy doing that with your site, always room for improvement and betterment right!!

I look forward to seeing your results ....

Say Hi to Big Bubby Hoggy ... lol

I shall say Hi to big bubbie for you.
I've also been learning how to use Dreamweaver so that I can re-do both my sites eventually... big task though, so that has also been keeping me busy.

Originally Posted by MandyN

I shall say Hi to big bubbie for you.
I've also been learning how to use Dreamweaver so that I can re-do both my sites eventually... big task though, so that has also been keeping me busy.

Thanks Mandy, I appreciate that ...

Wow, dreamweaver eh!! always loved that name, lol, good for you though, you will be a "sleuth" do you think you will like it better?? Learn all you can my dear, will be good for the future right!!

What do you think of the leader up in space? Amazing eh!!

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Thanks Mandy, I appreciate that ...

Wow, dreamweaver eh!! always loved that name, lol, good for you though, you will be a "sleuth" do you think you will like it better?? Learn all you can my dear, will be good for the future right!!

What do you think of the leader up in space? Amazing eh!!

I hope the leader has a GPS with him... you know, it's a big place space... could get lost easy... lol

Dreamweaver definately gives you much more choices and flexibility, but also takes a lot longer to learn... it has it's good and bad points depending on your ability.

Originally Posted by MandyN

I'd say the headaches are because you are looking at the boobs so hard and for so long! LOL

Hi Mandy,
My name is Lina and I'm the leader's wife, where he is he can't see any boobs.
Says he, there is only one pair of boobs to look at......mine......so no headaches.....ha ha ha...
He sends greetings

Originally Posted by MandyN

I hope the leader has a GPS with him... you know, it's a big place space... could get lost easy... lol

Dreamweaver definately gives you much more choices and flexibility, but also takes a lot longer to learn... it has it's good and bad points depending on your ability.

Mandy I spoke to the leader a little while ago and he says the GPS is guiding him over Australia a little later and he will be watching out for you.
He sends his regards to you and Carlos and Baby.....hopes you all doing well.

Hi Mandy! Hope all is well...sounds like your keeping carlos jumping!! The leader is watching over you and carlos, so watch those boobies!! lol

Where ever I go I keep seeing boobies, whats up with you girls, or is this clever advertising....................????

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Where ever I go I keep seeing boobies, whats up with you girls, or is this clever advertising....................????

No No it just looks like you are a boob man, you just keep popping in where all the boobs are.

Hi Lina, how very nice to meet you... it is not often that you get to meet the Leader of the Leader... (ladies we all know it is the woman who is the real leader... we just let those men think they are the boss... anything for peace right?) lol Joke... or is it?
Lina I still believe his headaches are from looking at boobies... it just so happens, and he confesses that it is you who he is looking at... men, they can't help themselves... lol
Tell Astral thank you from us all, and we will flick the lights on and off 3 times so he can see us... we are to the south and near the beach... lol

Hi Cindy, we are all well thank you... Carlos is always jumping, even when I'm not around... lol Now which boobies were you referring to..? The one's on my body, or the one's looking at the one's on my body? lol

David David David... you poor men get it so bad don't you..? These cruel advertising people who use boobies to suck you into buying things you really don't want or need... it's just not right is it? Shame on the advertising people. Ladies let's help David and ban boobies in advertising... how does that sound to you David? lol

Hey Mandy, I wasn´t complaining so PLEASE dont ban the boobies.........

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Hey Mandy, I wasn´t complaining so PLEASE dont ban the boobies.........

David ....

we can always count on you to be "Boobyliscious" .... we wouldn't want it any other way now would we girls!!

Of course we're advertising .... How are we doing so far? lol

Cookie ............... grrrrrrr............. I know that was you ... lol

Originally Posted by MandyN

Hi Lina, how very nice to meet you... it is not often that you get to meet the Leader of the Leader... (ladies we all know it is the woman who is the real leader... we just let those men think they are the boss... anything for peace right?) lol Joke... or is it?
Lina I still believe his headaches are from looking at boobies... it just so happens, and he confesses that it is you who he is looking at... men, they can't help themselves... lol
Tell Astral thank you from us all, and we will flick the lights on and off 3 times so he can see us... we are to the south and near the beach... lol

Hi Cindy, we are all well thank you... Carlos is always jumping, even when I'm not around... lol Now which boobies were you referring to..? The one's on my body, or the one's looking at the one's on my body? lol

David David David... you poor men get it so bad don't you..? These cruel advertising people who use boobies to suck you into buying things you really don't want or need... it's just not right is it? Shame on the advertising people. Ladies let's help David and ban boobies in advertising... how does that sound to you David? lol

Mandy....Like wise it was nice to meet you, That because he confessed that he doesn't get any more headaches.....eh eh eh...,no he's not that bad!!!!....that's Manuel always up to his tricks......I'll pass your message onto him a little later today.
The kids and I are going to chat to him a little later.

Well I'm colored Euro-Asian, I live far away from home, mostly around blacks and whites, I have the only choice in them for now for a wife, and I don't know whether to go down(for a black) or up(for a white).

Originally Posted by darkcloudestine

Well I'm colored Euro-Asian, I live far away from home, mostly around blacks and whites, I have the only choice in them for now for a wife, and I don't know whether to go down(for a black) or up(for a white).

Well my friend the choice is up to you, So you decide it's ether UP or DOWN........But then there is love.....!!!!!!.......but then if the choice is difficult why not stay in the Middle......eheee eeehhh.

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Hey Mandy, I wasn´t complaining so PLEASE dont ban the boobies.........

Hmmmm... are you sure David? We would be happy to help if you find yourself getting deeper and deeper into debt because of those cruel Boobies... lol
We'll remain on stand-by for now, and let the Boobies be free to entice you into more purchases... but if you find them too disruptive, just let us know and we'll put them away... lol

Originally Posted by Astraltraveller

Mandy....Like wise it was nice to meet you, That because he confessed that he doesn't get any more headaches.....eh eh eh...,no he's not that bad!!!!....that's Manuel always up to his tricks......I'll pass your message onto him a little later today.
The kids and I are going to chat to him a little later.

Thanks Lina

Lucky he's not as bad as some men hey... some of them seem to suffer some sort of brain disfunction when they see Boobies; you could be having an in depth conversation and some Boobies walk by, all of a sudden the brain disfunction kicks in... they can't close their mouth, speak, or hear anything you are saying until the Boobies are out of site. Some even start drooling and making strange obnoxious sounds. Strangely enough, the effects seem to be worse when one man has other men in their company... it's like they are hypnotised and have no control.

Girls you've got to feel sorry for the poor male species, it must be so difficult to get things done...

Originally Posted by MandyN

Thanks Lina

Lucky he's not as bad as some men hey... some of them seem to suffer some sort of brain disfunction when they see Boobies; you could be having an in depth conversation and some Boobies walk by, all of a sudden the brain disfunction kicks in... they can't close their mouth, speak, or hear anything you are saying until the Boobies are out of site. Some even start drooling and making strange obnoxious sounds. Strangely enough, the effects seem to be worse when one man has other men in their company... it's like they are hypnotised and have no control.

Girls you've got to feel sorry for the poor male species, it must be so difficult to get things done...

Oh my goodness, now that is just pathetic, can't say I've ever seen things that bad, but if I did, I wouldn't be in their company again ....

Geesh .... these men need to get a grip ....

Is that what those "Aussie Men" are like Mandy, lol ... you better get outta there ... lol

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Oh my goodness, now that is just pathetic, can't say I've ever seen things that bad, but if I did, I wouldn't be in their company again ....

Geesh .... these men need to get a grip ....

Is that what those "Aussie Men" are like Mandy, lol ... you better get outta there ... lol

Unfortunately, it is how alot of men are here, the one's who call themselves "True Blue Aussie Men" are... "all ass and no class".
I've steered well clear of those one's in my life thankgoodness. They are commonly called "Bogans", and they are proud to be called it; they are equivelant to "Rednecks or Trailer Trash"... lol
Personally I think it is a deep psychological problem they encounter from not being breast fed as babies...lol Joke!

Originally Posted by MandyN

Thanks Lina

Lucky he's not as bad as some men hey... some of them seem to suffer some sort of brain disfunction when they see Boobies; you could be having an in depth conversation and some Boobies walk by, all of a sudden the brain disfunction kicks in... they can't close their mouth, speak, or hear anything you are saying until the Boobies are out of site. Some even start drooling and making strange obnoxious sounds. Strangely enough, the effects seem to be worse when one man has other men in their company... it's like they are hypnotised and have no control.

Girls you've got to feel sorry for the poor male species, it must be so difficult to get things done...

Hi Mandy,
Your are right about some men, but my Manny and your Alien leader is not like that , he doesn't get distracted by any boobies no matter the size or shape.......he keeps his head on......by the way he send greetings form outter space to you and Carlos and the baby.

Originally Posted by MandyN

Unfortunately, it is how alot of men are here, the one's who call themselves "True Blue Aussie Men" are... "all ass and no class".
I've steered well clear of those one's in my life thankgoodness. They are commonly called "Bogans", and they are proud to be called it; they are equivelant to "Rednecks or Trailer Trash"... lol
Personally I think it is a deep psychological problem they encounter from not being breast fed as babies...lol Joke!

I agree with you there Mandy, men like that is best to stay well away from.....they are not with the trouble....

Yep, that's for sure Lina... prevention is better than cure as they say... lol
Say thanks to Manny and G'day back to him... hope he's enjoying his space trip.

Originally Posted by MandyN

Yep, that's for sure Lina... prevention is better than cure as they say... lol
Say thanks to Manny and G'day back to him... hope he's enjoying his space trip.

He is doing fine and sends greeting to you and Carlos and says take care of that baby.......and to tell you not to make Carlos cook up such a big storm as I he (Manny) cant see Australia from space with all that smoke.......

Lol thats funny!
BUT not all men are like that!!

:( lol

very good. lol

Originally Posted by Astraltraveller

He is doing fine and sends greeting to you and Carlos and says take care of that baby.......and to tell you not to make Carlos cook up such a big storm as I he (Manny) cant see Australia from space with all that smoke.......

Don't worry, I am taking very good care of my baby... can't say it's doing the same for my internal organs though... lol

Lol... tell Carlos to stop cooking... are you crazy Manny! lol

Originally Posted by vodafreak

Lol thats funny!
BUT not all men are like that!!

:( lol

You're absolutely right vodafreak... not all men are like that, the others have evolved more than the one's I described, and they have learnt how to still do that, but go mostly un-noticed... lol

Originally Posted by MandyN

Don't worry, I am taking very good care of my baby... can't say it's doing the same for my internal organs though... lol

Lol... tell Carlos to stop cooking... are you crazy Manny! lol

Us woman always take good care of out babies......and you are right about internal organs, ask me I went through the same with my two....

As for Carlos cooking up a storm, if his cooking is so great keep him cooking and don't worry what the leader says.
I wished Manny was able to cook up a delicious storm every now and then, never mind every day.....

Spoke to Manny again and he sends his regards to you and Carlos and the baby too.....