Thread: Letter received from tesco head office to customer

Apparently the below is a real letter received from tesco's head office to a customer. lol. Gives me some ideas!!!!

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Laughed my a....s. off.............nice one, made my day mook......

Glad I could help. lol

roflmao.....great one mook!

That was great! Made my day too, Mook!

Very good... I enjoyed that....!!!

Mook, I absolutely loved it.
I would love to know that guy. He would be great to have around at parties.
Leanne

Originally Posted by willows

Mook, I absolutely loved it.
I would love to know that guy. He would be great to have around at parties.
Leanne

I know what you mean, i don't think i'd be able to get up off the floor from all the laughing i'd be doing though. lol

lol Mook

sssssssssh eggs hiding here

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

My fave

Ho this was so funny I nearly p****d myself laughing......roflmao

Very good one Mook. I particularly liked the end.

Roflmao!

Can't stop laughin...... Ok stopped now, nice one Mook!