Thread: Men Strike Back...!!!!!

Men strike back!



How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink .

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

..........two nasty's in a row.......not!

You're on a roll today - better hide tomorrow

i had forgotten many of these, still funny a second time around.

Three Guys Fishing There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.

Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says: "OK, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."

"The mermaid says: "Done." Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.

The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid: "Triple my I.Q."

The mermaid says: "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q."

The mermaid looks at him and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider. "

The guy says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."

"Please," says the mermaid "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else... a million dollars, anything?"

But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power.

So the mermaid sighed and said: "Done!"

And he became a woman.

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Three Guys Fishing There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.

Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says: "OK, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."

"The mermaid says: "Done." Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.

The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid: "Triple my I.Q."

The mermaid says: "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q."

The mermaid looks at him and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider. "

The guy says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."

"Please," says the mermaid "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else... a million dollars, anything?"

But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power.

So the mermaid sighed and said: "Done!"

And he became a woman.

Now I feel sorry for the UNIVERSE........lol.....hee hee hee ...

Very good "stories".

Im formulating a reply but there is steam comming out of my head..... im about to implode.

Oh by the way Robyn i love your signature

Originally Posted by Mirelle

Im formulating a reply but there is steam comming out of my head..... im about to implode.

Oh by the way Robyn i love your signature

lol Mirelle...........thanks

very funny LE.

lmao Hahaha they are superb! I was going to email these to people, but I think I will get alot of hate mail back lol. Then I will blame "The Leader" lol.