Thread: Married Humor

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

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Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."

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Know where you're comin from... Nice one Bill.

Originally Posted by bill2006

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

-------------------

Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."

-------------------

Best Joke.
Wife coming from out of station and husband go to receive his wife
to station.
Wife:"Why are you so sad,What happened?
Husband:"Nothing"
Wife:"Look!that man how happy he is looking and talking to his wife"
Husband:"She is going and boarding the train."

Oft bittersweet seem the fruits of Love......yet from the smallest seeds therein grows the mightiest of trees to weather all storms and tribulations, and under which there is refuge and solace in the shade.......so then, nurture the sapling, my son, so that the roots grow deep and true and that your life may be full of abundance!




Sounds Biblical, but is really my own poetic paraphrase....lol

Hmmmmmm........sounds like my life.

wow how familiar.....all they all alike??

........I protest this thread! I'm not finding the humor in it at all......lol

me tinks it's time to add a men's thread.......

male famous sayings (there's only two) ha ha

1. I don't know

2. What

Originally Posted by C L

........I protest this thread! I'm not finding the humor in it at all......lol

me tinks it's time to add a men's thread.......

male famous sayings (there's only two) ha ha

1. I don't know

2. What

3) Huh?

The most infamous male saying: I Do!

Originally Posted by Vasili

3) Huh?

...only have time for a quick post.

You all know I'm joking ...... I read the thread, started laughing.....you guys all seemed to be in agreement.....had to mess it up. ha ha

4. later?

Originally Posted by whiteshepherd

4. later?

I beg to differ....that is something a teenager says, usually in departing or when asked to do anything....I am sure you will agree that if modified slightly, it will become more recognizable:

4) In a minute....

and the classic...

5) How much?

and don't forget ---

6) Where's the remote?"

.......hmmm, seems as though there are more than two......lol,

Good one Liz....the remote, that's an accessory for men isn't it?

what about the man made famous saying...................."I don't need to ask for directions, I know where it is."

ha ha........lol

....gotta like it!

Originally Posted by C L

.......hmmm....the remote, that's an accessory for men isn't it? ........

Really? I was always told it was what I would become if I didn't get on the program!



(Obviously, she was right! Again...)

Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

---------------

Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

lol ... Gotta luv it!!

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Originally Posted by Vasili

I beg to differ....that is something a teenager says, usually in departing or when asked to do anything....I am sure you will agree that if modified slightly, it will become more recognizable:

4) In a minute....

and the classic...

5) How much?

no problem ..

Oh, oh, oh, I really think this one is the best!!!!

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful."


P R I C E LE S S

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Oh, oh, oh, I really think this one is the best!!!!

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful."


P R I C E LE S S

hehehehehe ... hahahaha ... if that's what it means then I never want to be equal ....

......hmm

I love these little battles......and the guys take not winning so well....

wtg guys!

lol

Originally Posted by LadyEye

Oh, oh, oh, I really think this one is the best!!!!

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful."


P R I C E LE S S

I don't know about the exotic lands where you all live, but here in the U.S.A. there are a lot of women who fit the above.