Thread: funny pun

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."


anybody else have good puns??

Newspaper Headlines


Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Man Steals Clock, Faces Time

Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies


ha ha ha, good one Liz........

Originally Posted by C L

Newspaper Headlines


Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Man Steals Clock, Faces Time

Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies


ha ha ha, good one Liz........

Good ones Witch!

okay here are some more headlines:

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, **** says

Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy

OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance

OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest

OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver

OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go batty

OLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a part

OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures

......and so it goes

From "Pun of the Day"

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.