Thread: And then the fight started....

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED.....



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started....

************************************************** **********************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

************************************************** *********************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

Thats funny lol.
Then the fight got started.

OMG...No...I am not gonna race with you! LOL...you are too good, Joe!

Sweet lol.. Love the last one lol..

Nice Karen, I like the one about the social (in)security office. LOL

My wife wanted to go out to eat, so I took her to mcdonalds drive thru.
Then the fight got started

Climbing up off the floor

Hahahahaha.......

Doesn't always take that much to get it started around here.
Those are good!!

Yeah.. My husband told me size doesnt matter.. I asked him, "who lied to you?"

And then the fight started... LOL

Karen

I actually woke up (from a good night's sleep), and after she stopped crying in despair, then the fight started.

This is fun!

My (ex)wife once told me (sometime in the first couple of years of marriage) that she didn't want anything for her birthday, so I gave her what she wanted.............and thats when the fight started.

My wife and kids wanted to go to the aquarium, so I stopped at the nearest pet shop.
Then the fight got started.

I wanted more variety of stock in the shop....and then the fight started....

GREAT THREAD!! These are great .. real fun ..


The ladies burnt their bra
and then the fight started!

Let alone the fire it started, lol

Lol! When I told my wife
"Variety are the spices of life"

and that's when the argument started......................

I told everyone that the cookies had run out....

thats when the fight started.

Vodahost said there would be no more smoking or drinking in the forum....
and the fight starts now!!

Originally Posted by SAman

Vodahost said there would be no more smoking or drinking in the forum....
and the fight starts now!!

No drinking and smoking? are they trying to start a full on riot?!?!?!?!?!?!?

No more drinking and smoking in voda land
Then the riot got started

I told her that I had run out of presertivos....?

That when the fight started

lol, thats hilarious

and afterwards, I said, I really enjoyed that fight....

and thats when the fight started again

I told my wife i'm going to the bar to see the fights
thats when the real fight got started

Woo Hoo! This is hilarious...lololololololol

My wife said why don't you take the kids to the circus, so I parked on main street so they can see the clowns hanging out
Then the fight got started

Hee hee hee ...

I said to a man "Haven't you got a BRAIN to use??" ....

And that's when the fight started ....

http://amenclinics.com/ac/bitn/bitn_...?articleID=179

hee hee

I told my kids to pay attention because I was the boss, Wife laughed.....

Then the fight started.

OK--so I can't figure out how to post a YouTube (not without expending much-needed energy and brain cells...but try this link to enjoy a good arguement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3HaRFBSq9k

I brought the cookies
now the fight begins

too true the fight now begins

I AM THE COOKIE MONSTER...........................

I got cookie to said the cookie monster
Ifight for cookies said the cookie monster
and the fight got started

My mate and I were following two gorgeous ladies along the beach when my mate yelled out "Show us your boobs!" One of the girls spun around and glared at him in discust. My mate quickly said.. No not you! the other one!
Then the fight started

My wife asked what was on the t v I said dust.
and the fight got started

I ate the cookies
now the fight begins

Originally Posted by Tom Finley

OK--so I can't figure out how to post a YouTube (not without expending much-needed energy and brain cells...but try this link to enjoy a good arguement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3HaRFBSq9k

click the youtube thingie and between the brackets put only the letters and number after the equals sign...in this case

k3HaRFBSq9k

Back on topic...

My husband got promoted and got butter bars on his shoulder and new white shirts and gets the title of SHIFT COMMANDER, and then he told me to make dinner.. and I said.. You didnt get a raise here skippy.. make your own dinner....

and then the fight started.

Karen

oh skippy eh, lol . ... hmmmm .. had a goat named skippy karen, lmao

... back on topic, lol


There were three in the bed and the little one said, "Roll Over"

and that's when the fight started ....

Skippy told Karen to wash and press his new white shirts and shine his butter bars.....

And then the fight starred.......

Sorry Karen, it was too good to pass up.

Originally Posted by SAman

Skippy told Karen to wash and press his new white shirts and shine his butter bars.....

And then the fight starred.......

Sorry Karen, it was too good to pass up.

SAman used Karen in a quip...
She said.. If only you were better equipped...

And then the fight started...

(Turn about is fair play.. and Skippy values his life.. he wouldnt really tell me that..)

Karen

The boss and IT manager ask what I'm doing on this web site.........

I said research.....
Then the fight started.......

(OK Karen but how do you know?)

Your boss and manager asked ME what Im doing on this website, I replied:
Teaching Saman.............

Then the fight started......

"could you do it NOW please?"
and then the fight started!

I said what was all the fuss about.
then the fight got started

and I said "you think you know everything"
and then the fight really started!

Wife asks husband for 100th time what's wrong.......
He say nutin.......

And the fight started!

Did I learn correctly David??

You are a good pupil Saman, but you can do better......

then the fight started

I saw this old boy at Ryans buffet the other day and he kept sticking the car keys in his ear and then wiping them on his pants.. finally I said.."I dont know why you keep doing that, I think the battery is dead.. and its not gonna turn over no matter how much grease you scoop out of there!"...
and then the fight started

Karen

I saw this nude man running towards me.
I stopped him and asked him why he was running.
He said: you came home early.............

Thats when the fight started.................................

So I said "Well, you do it then"
and then the fight started

I said, I won the lottery ...

and that's when the fight started ..

I said what was the ffnn problem
then the fight got started

I said "Wot's it gotta do wiv u?"
and then the fight started

After all this fun and hilarity take some time out
did you realize that edward hiendrick died two days ago.
this was the man who wrote "the hoky koky" many years ago.
it was very distressing time for the family as at the undertakers,
They put the left leg in.
Thats when the trouble started!!!!!

My wife said you never take out the rubbish! I said yes I do! She said when! I said I emptied the bin on my Mac this morning.
and then the fight started...

so I said "That's a load of rubbish!"
and then the fight started

hahahaha.....this is a blast, you guys and gals...had no clue it would be this much fun to see what everyone comes up with...

Laughter is definitely the BEST MEDICINE!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter
and the day that there is none.
thats when the fight got started

Amen, Joe! I asked my mother-in-law why she didn't KNOCK....
and then the fight started.

Big Dude says "i'm Hungry!"
I said...well there's chicken, turkey, chops, steaks, and ground beef in the freezer...what are we having?
And then the fight started...

LOL.. Last week.. another encounter of the third kind, I met a business associate at Denny's for coffee and discussion and this big goofy redneck was discussing family trees with half the clientelle in there, and i was laffing at him..so he walks up to me and says... "Everybody is connected in some way, Heck.. I bet I'm even related to you!"

I said.."I really rather doubt it, I'm not from Missouri, and my family tree has branches!"

....... and then the fight started..(among theclatter of the sound of the waitress dropping their dishes, and people spitting their drinks and choking on their food!"

Karen

If'in youens maa and paa get unhitched are they still brother and sister?????

LOL...and then the fight started...LOL

I think we need in here is a refforee
then the fight got started

My goodness great!

So lucky to have landed here today, at this precise moment... to make me laugh, relax....and have no fight started!

Greetings from Portugal
Susana

Originally Posted by D'son

If'in youens maa and paa get unhitched are they still brother and sister?????

Naw.....dunt madder all dat much, you know - they'd still be my cuzzins!

And dem two been feudin' as long as the hills yonder have been poking to the sky!

Originally Posted by Vasili

Naw.....dunt madder all dat much, you know - they'd still be my cuzzins!

And dem two been feudin' as long as the hills yonder have been poking to the sky!

Thatn thars why I go to ar famillee reunuions, the daten pool is soo bigg.

BTW there are NO straight roads in Missouri either.. they all go around a farmers field, a strawberry patch, or someones flower garden or a lake or river, mud puddle or "CRIK" also known as a "creek".

Karen

Its easier to drive half liquered up when the roads serve as much as you do.

I offered my assistance (based on my abilities, including full disclosure of I am not the best or brightest)...
and then the fight started...

Well if thats the best that you can do..........

then the fight started

tee hee hee

David, you are just too dang nice and sweet and helpful and lovable and considerate and respectful and knowledgeable and manly and furry and blue and...
and then the fight started...

Oooh what a nice fight that was........

then the fight started again and again and again..........lol

Ladyeye said to me shush...you will ruin my reputation.

I replied "what reputation"

thats when the fight started............

My wife said why don't we take the gran kids somewhere, I said back to there parents
that when the fight got started

Originally Posted by davidundalicia

Ladyeye said to me shush...you will ruin my reputation.

I replied "what reputation"

thats when the fight started............

hee hee .. G'morning David ...

And while she was trying to figure this out, her kettle burned up and she NOW can't have any tea ....

that's when the fight started ....

good Afternoon Holly.............15:45 pm here............

I said to my grandchildren, be quite and go and play on the motorway....

thats when the fight started

g'afternoon then David .. or is it evening now already, lol ...

He said she said and she said he said

and that's when the fight started ...

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: 'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst... my wife came home with no panties!!'
'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....
'From all of us at the Fire Station,
We'll never forget you'.................

and then the fight started!!!

omg Patsy ... that is so funny ....

david sent his gran kids to the motorway i said to my wife we could send ours to the parkway.
then the fight got started

Ed said
keep an eye on the chat lounge, jkadin, as well as many others always has something in there to start the maddness
then the fight got started

Karen said..

WTF are you going on about Joe..???? Did you stub your toe again on the way to pee in the fridge in the middle of the night?

and... then the fight started..

Karen

Having had previous experience with the most exasperating question in the world, on my wedding day I sweetly asked my beautiful bride if she would please promise to never in our upcoming lives together ask "Do I look fat in this?"

And then the fight started.

I said, "Brad--have you ever heard of a thing called Magento?"

And then the fight started.

Originally Posted by Karen Mac

Karen said..

WTF are you going on about Joe..???? Did you stub your toe again on the way to pee in the fridge in the middle of the night?

and... then the fight started..

Karen

no I banged my head tripped over my feet then stubed my toe then I forgot what I got up for
Then the fight got started

I have 2 girsl, that go to the same school, one was 9 by that time, other one 8.
I swear i NEVER teach them those things at home, but you know how kids are...
One day, youngest came home all scartched up because of a fight in school with a girl from Cabo Verde, and no matter how I tried, she didn't told me what was the problem.
Next day I went to school, and the teacher told me she has called the other girl black, because she called her stupid.
I asked her if she didn't know that's not a kind thing to say EVER, and she replied to me, exasperating:
- Then if she's not black, what colour is she? Pink? Yellow? Green?....
And then the fight REALLY started...

My wife said are we taking the kids out so i took the kids outside
then the you know what the fight got started

Originally Posted by Tom Finley

I said, "Brad--have you ever heard of a thing called Magento?"

And then the fight started.

LOL---whole new forum---LOL
Guess he told you....LOL
And then the fight started...

...and then the fight started...

........and he said to me,
"If you ever get to look like your Mother, I'll divorce you"
42 years later, and I'm still trying to get him to keep his promise!
...and the fights gonna start real soon.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming
pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director
became aware of Edna's heroic act> she immediately ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news
she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The
good news is you're being discharged, since you were
able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded
that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself
in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved
him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'

Then the fight started..........

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer living
just outside Cornerbrook , Newfoundland , to find the main cause of
the Mad Cow Disease.

Lady reporter: 'Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information
on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for
this disease?'
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: 'Do you know that a Bull mounts a cow only once a year?'
Lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): 'Well, sir, that's a new
piece of information, but what's the relation between this
phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?'
The farmer: 'And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?'

The reporter: 'Sir, this is really valuable information, but what
about getting to the point.'
Farmer: 'I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was
playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a
year, wouldn't you get mad?

Then the fight started

That ones a dilly........lmbao

I sometimes have that problem when I am using my boobie box......lol

To view my box follow this link:
http://www.vodahost.com/vodatalk/groups/wild-bunch.html

That's a good one Ed.

David you might want to put some padding in your box, and take along a table.

and then the fight started........

A little boy goes up to his father and asks, "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replies, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother because I still have mine."


and then the fight started..........

Belong to you or me??

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"


....He Won....

Then the fight got started

A woman in her fifties is at home, happily jumping unclothed on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband ******* her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came back from having a mammogram and the doctor said not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old."
The husband then asks, "What did he say about your 52-year-old arse?"
"Oh, he never mentioned you," she replies.


then the fight started...............

I booked a 4 day trip to Mexico for our anniversary and just for a little extra fun entered a 4 day golf tournament there.

My wife said she wanted a fur coat. I gave her a mousetrap and told her it was a starter kit.

And then......

fedex and ups delivering a package to the same company crashed into each other.

then the fight got started

lool...... jkadin i like that one its true after you put a dollar into the vending machine is the pepsi yours??????
i would say yes... lol obvious thanks for the tip