Thread: Letters to the Landlord

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.



I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.



This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.



The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.



I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.



Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.



The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.



Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.



Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.



Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.



Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.



Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.



I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.



When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

Ooh arr trish.............very funny................lmbao

Like it!

Just goes to show: you can't make up stuff that's as funny as real life:)

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

Isn't this why they made V i a g r a? Not sure as I have no knowledge of this product. LOL

Dear mister landlord while mowing the lawn you have knocked down my erection please come over to straigten it out.

LMAO
Dear Lanlord; as my wife and I do not want any more children, could you come and take down the erection at our residence?

Dear Landlord,

I do not appreciate the misery you have put us through recently. Had you enclosed the directions to the "Kitchen Disposal" it would have been clear to my wife and children that it was not appropriate to use on our old sofa.
Please kindly repair the kitchen (which exploded and is still leaking) and furnish us a new convertible sofa. Green with a gentle texture would be nice.

PS: I have been asked if you can do this tomorrow before my Mother-in-Law arrives for a fortnight's visit. She gets real nasty sleeping on a chair. (I get nasty when she's around, so doing things before she comes really would be better all around!)