Thread: My contribution to today's laughs...

You are going to love this.......

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.

Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.
She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... 'God, please help me.
I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well.
Please let me win The lottery '

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... 'My God, why have you Forsaken me?
I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.
I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.
PLEASE let me win the lottery just this ONE time so I can get my life back in order.'

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the Heavens open...

The blonde is overwhelmed by the VOICE of God, Himself...

'Sweetheart, work with Me on this...Buy a ticket.'

---------------------------
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, " There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(you're gonna love this)




The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone."


(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did...

the first one was funny the second one you got it right singing it. Good one karen.

Thank you buddy...not trying to take your place...but trying to give back what you have given me...

Bless you, Joe!

wait the best is yet to come I,m working on a new site thats right a new site and not with products but with jokes i got permision of another joke site in writing that i can use as much jokes of theres to start of with hopefully will launch it soon.

Karen liked them both....heard them but always good. Can explain why I havent won the lootery yet.....but I keep waiting!

Joe still waiting for the site, can't wait!

nice one i like it..lol.......

Nice one Karen! lol

Blonde joke is very funny!

Nice belly laughs....................great stuff.

The blondes never cease to amaze me.