Thread: Lone Ranger and Tonto

> The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
>
> After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
>
> Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
> towards sky, what you see? '
>
> The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
>
> 'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
>
> The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking,
> It tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
> planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise,
> it
> appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
> Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful
> and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
> have
> a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
>
> 'You dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole the tent

************************************************** **********


HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTRE
> It was entertainment night at the Senior Centre.
> Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you into a trance;
> I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience.'
> The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique
> pocket Watch from his coat 'I want you each to keep your eye on this
> antique
> watch.
> It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six
> generations' He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while
> quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, a nd watch the
> watch...'The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and
> forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
> Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it
> Slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into
> a
> hundred
> pieces.
>
>
>
> '****!'
> said the Hypnotist.
>
> It took three days to clean up the Senior Centre.

Like the first one.............the second........................eeeeeeuuuuuuuuwwwww. ...............