Thread: Raising Boys

I don't know if this one has already been posted or not, but I thought it was hysterical and had to pass it on! :)

Raising Boys
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can
ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Holy **** that is funny, and #24 is absoluly correct, I was going to try that after I finished reading it.

Originally Posted by Watdaflip

Holy **** that is funny, and #24 is absoluly correct, I was going to try that after I finished reading it.

LOL

I showed my brother this one, and he wanted to try it too... hmmm... he never did say if he actually did though!

Kellie

Lol...my son taught me that if you kick a football(soccer)hard enough you can make a perfect round hole in the kitchen window! lol

That is very very funny! It sounds, scarily enough, like real life experiences too. Aaaaarrrrrgggghh! Thank god for little girls. Lol.

LMAO! That is funny and oh so true.

Originally Posted by Lincslady

Lol...my son taught me that if you kick a football(soccer)hard enough you can make a perfect round hole in the kitchen window! lol

lol Remind me to make sure there are no soccer balls in the house!

My oldest son has taught me that no matter how smart you think you are, a kid will ask questions that just totally stump you. (Where do they come up with their questions anyway??)

My daughter taught me that no matter how sneaky you think you are, kids know when you're in the bathroom, exactly what you're doing in there, and then announce it to everyone in the house.

And my youngest has taught me that at 30 yrs old, I can run as fast as I did when I was 16... maybe faster. (When properly motivated, of course... such as when I saw him standing on the dining room table getting ready to jump on the cat laying on the floor)

Kellie