Thread: Robert Mugabe goes to Israel.....

Robert Mugabe goes on a state visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away. The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have him shipped home for US$500,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land , for just US$100.' The Zimbabweans go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Mugabe shipped home. The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $500,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100? With the money you save you could buy enough diesel for a year, buy enough medicines to wipe out cholera, buy enough generators to never have blackouts again.' The Zimbabweans replied, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take that chance.'


For those of you who don't know who this Idiot Mugabe is, he's the the dictating asshole ruling our neighbouring country Zimbabwe.... ..north of South Africa ...

Save the money and cremate him, .....lets see him rise from that.

ZIM,
I was born in a place called Rhodesia...you can call it zim if you wish.
the year was 1953 on a stormy night in April. the rain came down in buckets...from the moment i opened my eyes, to the day i left...all i remember is one hell of a big land of beauty...with tobacco lands as far as the eye could see. you could mount a horse at dawn, and will find no fence at dusk. better take lunch if you want to reach the farm gate...and take a gun my friend, its wild country...with leopards and hahinas and baboons....
oooo....the baboons...
at the tobacco sheds the farm hands would bind the leaves to long sticks and these would go into the drying rooms. i recall a day when me and my boet fell asleep between the rows and rows of musty leaves....the heat was turned on...mmmm it was close... we nearly went up in smoke.
Charopa was the name. called after the mountain....like table mountain that stood to the south of the farmhouse. on a good day the family would load the big trailer that was pulled by a tractor, and it would take up about 3/4 way up. from there it was a long hike to the top. my dad would round the hands and sling the big gun over his shoulder, and the possie would disappear in the distance. us kids would play until there was no mountain left...sleeping under the stars...till the possie returns.
those were the days.....stick to the cremation....

Mugabe wanted to know from the children in the classroom he was visiting on one of his promotions, "Does anyone know where the Capital of our country is? "Sir" a little boy said "I know where it is "You are so cleaver said Mugabe, where is it?" "In Switzerland Sir"