Thread: Short Story

" If You Are Unhappy"

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and ****ped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing.
Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

The Moral Of The Story

1. Everyone who ****s on you is not necessarily your enemy.

2. Everyone who gets you out of the **** is not necessarily your friend.

3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, keep your mouth shut.

LMAO And that's no ****.

LOL
Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a twisted sense of humor! I laughed til the tears were running, and damn if the make up didn't burn! LOL

I've never had a problem with my makeup running, to be honest. Of course, I only use the top of the line Mary Kay products which might explain why.

Originally Posted by racefan20

I've never had a problem with my makeup running, to be honest. Of course, I only use the top of the line Mary Kay products which might explain why.

LMAO
Smart man! Don't fall for the "waterproof" garbage though... the only time any of it is waterproof is when you actually want it to come off! Just a little tip I thought I'd share!

Originally Posted by KJay_23

LMAO
Smart man! Don't fall for the "waterproof" garbage though... the only time any of it is waterproof is when you actually want it to come off! Just a little tip I thought I'd share!

LOL I will certainly keep that in mind. Here's a skin care tip for you if you ever decide to shave your head: when sitting front row at a NASCAR race, do NOT apply additional sunscreen to the top of your head without using a wash cloth to clean off first. If you do, you're only rubbing tire rubber into your scalp.

LOL
Ouch... definately a good tip to remember!

Originally Posted by KJay_23

LOL
Ouch... definately a good tip to remember!

Absolutely. I'm here to educate as well as entertain. LOL

LOL
Gotta love multi-talented people... now, if you could do electrical work, I'd say you were hired! LOL

Originally Posted by KJay_23

LOL
Gotta love multi-talented people... now, if you could do electrical work, I'd say you were hired! LOL

LOL Actually, I can do that type of work - I've done it many times before and no houses have burned down.

Yet.

LOL
Well, with that kind of track record going for ya, you must be a good electrician. lol

Originally Posted by KJay_23

LOL
Well, with that kind of track record going for ya, you must be a good electrician. lol

Either that, or I have a very selective memory.

LMAO
Well, there is always that possibility, but I suppose I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt... I'll just keep an eye on the news in case there are any massive fires out your way.

Racefan - I am now convinced that something inside you wants to start a web site for fashion tips for bald guys (or shaved heads - is there a subtle difference??). You seem to have a wealth of advice!

LOL

Did I hear some talk about bald guys???

Originally Posted by limebrook1

Racefan - I am now convinced that something inside you wants to start a web site for fashion tips for bald guys (or shaved heads - is there a subtle difference??). You seem to have a wealth of advice!

LOL

Just lessons learned the hard way, Trish. LOL

Originally Posted by VodaHost

Did I hear some talk about bald guys???

Ignore them, *****, they're just jealous. LOL

Is it that obvious? ;)

You guys make shaving your head sound tempting, but if I did that, what would I use for an excuse to hide in the bathroom for an hour when the kids are on my nerves? LOL

Originally Posted by racefan20

Ignore them, *****, they're just jealous. LOL

Dead right we're jealous! £Shampoo, £conditioner, £hairdressers.... I contemplated it once, whilst on holiday in a really hot place, but just couldn't bring myself to do it because I would have looked like Mrs Potato Head! LoL. Some women look stunning like Sinead O'Connor and my firiend Caroline but, alas, I would just look ridiculous! I also think there are loads and loads of women out there that find shiny headed men extremely attractive. You know what they say 'grass never grows on a busy street!!!'

Originally Posted by KJay_23

Is it that obvious? ;)

You guys make shaving your head sound tempting, but if I did that, what would I use for an excuse to hide in the bathroom for an hour when the kids are on my nerves? LOL

Take the newspaper in there with you and tell them your stomach doesn't "feel right". They'll leave you alone and may evacuate the house.

Originally Posted by Girlonthehill

Dead right we're jealous! £Shampoo, £conditioner, £hairdressers.... I contemplated it once, whilst on holiday in a really hot place, but just couldn't bring myself to do it because I would have looked like Mrs Potato Head! LoL. Some women look stunning like Sinead O'Connor and my firiend Caroline but, alas, I would just look ridiculous! I also think there are loads and loads of women out there that find shiny headed men extremely attractive. You know what they say 'grass never grows on a busy street!!!'

Grass never grows on a busy street? Hmmm, don't know why mine went away then. LOL

Originally Posted by racefan20

Take the newspaper in there with you and tell them your stomach doesn't "feel right". They'll leave you alone and may evacuate the house.

LMAO
That may be worth a try...