Thread: Blonde

Couldn't resist these....

Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!


Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.


Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.


Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.


You must all know at least one!


No offence intended - if you're blonde - sorry ;o)

LOL

Those are great!

Ok, I can't resist...


A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, you have to help me! I'm in terrible pain!"

The doctors helps her onto an examination table, and asks her what the problem is.

The blonde says "It hurts when I do this", and lightly touches her knee with a finger and howls in agony.

The doctor nods his head and asks if it hurts anywhere else.

The blonde says yes, and proceeds to lightly touch various parts on her body, while crying from the pain.

The doctor makes some notes, and slowly looks at the blonde. "I know what the problem is" he says solemnly.

"Is it bad?" the blonde asks.

The doctor fights a grin, and responds, "Your finger is broken."

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to
be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ......"
He sighed................
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box"

Ive heard a slightly funnier (IMO) version of the doctors office joke, except it wasn't with a blonde, if was with a brunette. The same problem with the pain all over her body. The doctor says he knows the problem. The brunette asks what was it? The doctor then says "You actually a blonde arn't you?". She replies yes, and then asks how he knew. He then says her finger is broken.

Warning!!!!!!

As the administrator of this forum it is my duty to inform you that we will
not tolerate any jokes that discriminate against race, gender, ethnic origin,
sexual preference or hair color….

On that note……

If a blonde and a brunette decide to simultaneously commit suicide and jump from the
roof a twenty story building at the EXACT same time. Who would hit the ground first???

Answer : The brunette.

Why : The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Originally Posted by VodaHost

Warning!!!!!!

As the administrator of this forum it is my duty to inform you that we will
not tolerate any jokes that discriminate against race, gender, ethnic origin,
sexual preference or hair color….

On that note……

If a blonde and a brunette decide to simultaneously commit suicide and jump from the
roof a twenty story building at the EXACT same time. Who would hit the ground first???

Answer : The brunette.

Why : The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

LMAO Good thing you posted the disclaimer first.

LMAO too.

LOL *****

Originally Posted by VodaHost

Warning!!!!!!

As the administrator of this forum it is my duty to inform you that we will
not tolerate any jokes that discriminate against race, gender, ethnic origin,
sexual preference or hair color….

On that note……

If a blonde and a brunette decide to simultaneously commit suicide and jump from the
roof a twenty story building at the EXACT same time. Who would hit the ground first???

Answer : The brunette.

Why : The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

great stuff made me think of several reasons why like how the blonde contained much more air LOL

Originally Posted by Girlonthehill

You must all know at least one!

Now I can't resist....I do know one, and I'm related to her....thank goodness by marriage!

Too Funny!
I'm a blonde & I definately enjoyed ALL of them!

Thanks,
Debbye

Here's a new one!

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The
contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it,
and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the
painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote
this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled
"GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said
nothing.

In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm
rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window,
opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side
up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes
laying sod across the street."

Warning !!- As absolutely nobody at all, I am to advise that reading this thread will give you stomach aches!...


There were two blondes on either side of the river. The first blonde said to the second blonde "hey come on over to the other side of the river". The second blonde replied "Im already on the other side of the river".
I was born blonde and slowly turned brunette thru the years, no I dont dye my hair!...lol

My 11 year old son is blonde - I am very amused as he excuses any daft comment he makes by explaining 'sorry, I'm having a blonde moment'! I can't use that excuse I'm afraid - I'm sort of mousey non descript brown!