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#1
06-26-2006, 07:20 PM
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!". Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that darned monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"          |
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#2
06-26-2006, 07:33 PM
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Lol. I like this one, a lot. Thanks Roy!
__________________ The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decisions, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. (William Hutchinson Murray) |
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#3
06-26-2006, 07:36 PM
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LOL! Like it!
__________________ Trish www.limebrook.com for horse lovers and riders everywhere www.webmasterproductions.co.uk advice for novice website designers www.mountainwalk.co.uk serious walks for novice walkers www.mybeardeddragons.co.uk for novice bearded dragon owners www.tucsonforbeginners.com information for a short break in Tucson www.pets4kids.info advice if you're thnking of a pet for the family |
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#4
06-26-2006, 08:48 PM
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Remindes me of my chihuahua, who is sure the only reason the postman leaves the door is her ferocity.
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#7
06-27-2006, 12:59 AM
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That was a really good one.
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#9
07-03-2006, 04:38 AM
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Did you hear about the drunk who went into a bar with a duck in his arms? The bartender immediately exclaimed, " we don't serve pigs here"! To which the drunk replied, " that's no pig. It's a duck". The infureated bartender then replied, " I was talking to the duck !". Although I have heard many versions of this joke this one was the cleanest. |
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