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#1
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| An elderly couple were attending church services, about halfway through the service she leans over and says, " I just let a silent one (censored) what do you think I should do?" He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
__________________ Bill www.blueearthtea.com www.ftaaconsulting.com www.iaval.com www.theemeraldbay.com |
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#2
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__________________ The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decisions, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. (William Hutchinson Murray) |
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#4
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to each his own. Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and asks the guy, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff-----grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea." "So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s...t?"
__________________ Bill www.blueearthtea.com www.ftaaconsulting.com www.iaval.com www.theemeraldbay.com |
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#5
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| Quote:
__________________ The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decisions, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. (William Hutchinson Murray) |
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#6
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| SENILITY An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
__________________ Bill www.blueearthtea.com www.ftaaconsulting.com www.iaval.com www.theemeraldbay.com |