bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

[kassi59]

I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been chasing a car when it hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack as he staggered out the door laughing loudly.

[SChajin]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

That is soooo great, I love it and I can see it in my mind.

[limebrook1]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

LOL - Where do you get all these??

[bill2006]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Laughing so hard, great imagination !!!

[mark6110]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

It is so possible!
With so many outrageous and dangerous diet ideas coming out every 2 days, the sad truth is, that it probably would work and be better for you than most.........If only we could do something about the side effects!!! ......supervised walkies pherhaps????

[Lincslady]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

I'm off to tesco to try that one lol

[circuspet.com]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Kassi59:

Dear General, you brought me to tears. LMAO ........ Love the personal touch.

[kassi59]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

When I found this joke, It sounded sooooo much like things Ive personally done or would have liked to do..ya know the stupid sign?!!!...lol...
Now why cant people just say "oh what kind of dog do you have?"
There is the cat food one too - answer being - "No I hate cats, The protein level in cat tuna is much better than starkist tuna has, and much much cheaper!"...lol little mayo, little celery, onion...never know the difference.....what are you doing for lunch?....lol
The looks are priceless!

[mark6110]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

In the 80's I was running combat survival courses for the army. I always had a dog with me on these courses. (Gave me someone intelligent to talk too! ha, ha). The dog gave a focal point for attention during stressfull situations and a rallying point during internal conflict. (Everyone loves a well behaved dog and the dog don't care who is right!)
Anyway, this dog had to be fed like the rest of us and that meant I had to take tins of dog food with me into the field.
The participents were only allowed army issue ration packs, and those rat packs get old very quickly. On a number of occasions one of the participents seeing the dog being feed his meaty chunks, offered to swap his rations for the tin of dog food! At first I just laughed, but I had to admit that it did look good after 10 days of unrecognizable, reconstituted gook, and abc biscuits. So I gave it a try, it was good! So, for variety I started eating it regularly myself, and I must say it smelled better and tasted a bit more like real food than the rat pack stuff!
When I got around to checking the label, it turned out that the dog food had a better nutritional mix for survival situations than the army issue packs, and better still, it came in five times as many flavours!
Typical that the people that plan nutrition for dogs paid more attention than the army!!!
I hear things have gotten better in the forces now, with the introduction of the new afd foods. But every so often I do like to split a nice tin of chum with the dog..brings back such good memories....

[kassi59]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Great story! - A friend of mine gave my sons a bunch of MRE 's. He said they were bad, but the kids found them fasinating...and I have to agree that its doesnt make a decent meal!....peanut butter and crackers wernt bad...lol

[mark6110]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Thanks Kate,
I never call them MRE's, as far as I am concerned it would have to be food to qualify as a Meal........ and I agree the peanut butter is the best part, but you can keep the crackers! I think they are made from the recycled packaging, with added roughage, of course!

[kassi59]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Thanks Kate,
I never call them MRE's, as far as I am concerned it would have to be food to qualify as a Meal........ and I agree the peanut butter is the best part, but you can keep the crackers! I think they are made from the recycled packaging, with added roughage, of course!

Ok,ok..good point! A meal they arent!...I guess I love peanut butter too much that I dont care what holds it up!....I sit corrected!...lol

[circuspet.com]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Mark6110:
I remember K-rations with ciderettes. Tiny little packs.

kassi59:
I'll need to email you my what are you doing for lunch joke, not G rated

[Ballybumba]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

Wonderful thread...great stories.

[mark6110]

Re: bad dog, bad dog, no biscuit! -

I remember them all to well my friend. I spent 4 years with the Isreali army in the late 70's, and we were still using them! US army surplus, but very welcome. There is only so much falafel one person can eat!